how to discipline a child who doesn't care about consequences

At moments like this, you *must* do away with sentiment and family tradition, and take away the privilege. Focus on what you want your child to learn from the consequence—not whether or not he’s going to care. He'll still get the message. When you give a consequence, the simpler you keep things, the better. What do I do? It can also help you get behaviors you like to happen more often. It’s very important to shape your behavior so that your child knows you’re not taking his mistakes personally. You might help generate some ideas by saying: “Instead of calling her names, how about going to your room and listening to some music for a few minutes? If, after taking his first few steps, your little one kept falling down, would you … We have a very defiant 13 year old, but most of these techniques are very effective. Just say: And even if he says he doesn’t care, let him know that he will encounter them again if he breaks the rules. When your child says, “I don’t care,” or seems unaffected when you give him a consequence, what he’s really saying is, “You can’t hurt me.”. A child might say, “I don’t care,” when a parent takes away their cellphone because they don’t want their parents to know that it upsets them. But I have a feeling that they are going to tell me to do things that we have already tried. I just thought on the off-chance this could help you I couldn't leave it. The influence of home-rearing environment on childrens behavioral problems 3 years’ later, Rewards and punishments in the education of preschool children. my daughter is 6 and was only 6 in July. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this Tell him: “If you talk nastily to your sister, this is what’s going to happen from now on.”. Kids will try to push your buttons by saying: “Who cares. But, if you ground him for 24 hours, then if he misbehaves again later in the week, you can ground him again. The influence of home-rearing environment on childrens behavioral problems 3 years’ later. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political Instead, focus on giving your child a consequence that will help change their behavior. It’s often helpful if he knows ahead of time what will happen when he acts out. Whatever.” But don’t get sucked into it. If chosen well, sometime consequences can help your child learn and make better behavior choices. Feel like I have no control over my 5 year old. The preschool age is when you can begin to see that some discipline methods work for one child but they may not work for another. Simply grounding him from his video games for a week will just teach him how to wait until he can get them back—not how to behave more appropriately. Think about it, if you ground him for 30 days and then he does something wrong tomorrow, what are you going to do? Does he actually believe that a single speeding ticket ensures that a driver never speeds again? Updated November 5, 2019. Every child in the Conscious Discipline classroom has a job, and you will structure, teach and visually represent these for … After all, giving your child a consequence until he shows you he can do better is an effective tool you have at your disposal at all times—even if he tells you he doesn’t care. You shouldn’t try to control his emotional life.  He is not ...usually...severely defiant about accepting the consequences, oddly enoigh, he just rides it oit and foes back to gis old ways IMMEDIATELY, exactly as jf he WANTS to be disciplined again just to prove he can "take it". And you probably won’t stick to it anyway.  Something else to keep in mind is that consequences by themselves do not change behavior, because they do not teach a child what to do differently. If he fails to write the letter, he doesn’t get his phone back—and the 24 hours starts all over again. or religious nature. When you take away a privilege or place your child in time-out, and they say, "I don't care," ignore them. Take a time out: By the time your child is two, time outs can be an effective discipline tool, say the experts at the Canadian Paediatric Society. So if your child loses his video game privileges for 24 hours, he should be doing something within that time frame that helps him improve his behavior. In reality, however, losing phone privileges may actually bother them a great deal. We’ll talk about giving it back to you after you talk nicely to your family for 24 hours.”. © 2021 Empowering Parents. discussion. He’ll simply hand you the ticket and walk away. ... that children who misbehave and don't care at all about the consequences are misbehaving for the sake of the reaction, good or bad. So she just left and I don't know where she goes. Physical punishments. Many parents believe the key to making consequences effective is to get a bigger hammer, but that’s not a sound teaching method. Then simply turn around and leave the room. A consequence is not designed to make your child say, “I’m sorry, Mom, I was wrong.” Rather, it’s there to help your child change his behavior. I have also contacted a family link worker which didn't solve anything. In those 24 hours, he might also have to write a note of apology to his sibling stating what he’ll do differently the next time he gets frustrated. I just wish I had an answer of what to do about it. Your child may continue to make poor choices because they are not having a need or desire met. I have tried time-outs, and she will either kick and hit while being taken to time out and then not sit down, or after she finally sits there for the 4 minutes, will get up and smirk and think it was funny or not really care about it at all. Conversations like these are how you get your child to think about alternative solutions other than yelling at his sister, name-calling, or acting out. She has been physically violent towards me, stollen money from us, ditches class, poor grades, and just defiant. I can't tell you how much this is changing the dynamics of our family. Read our, Reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP. A defiant kid must know that NOTHING is really ever "off the table" if they are going to push hard enough. Related content: How to Get Your Child to Listen: 9 Secrets to Giving Effective Consequences. For the rest of today, if your sister bothers you, pick one thing that you’re going to do from this list and see if it’s helpful.”. One of our biggest issues is discipline. When kids don’t seem to care about their consequences or punishments, it really just means that we aren’t communicating with them in the right manner. But…she doesn’t always understand the concept of consequences. James Lehman can help with 10 specific ways to make consequences work—even for the most resistant child.

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