I did it in response to his email. Thank you for the help, but I now realize I’m doomed – I can barely pronounce an “r” (grew up in Massachusetts), and have no hope of ever rolling one! And he wondered if he was alone in thinking it made the speaker sound self-righteous. Men seem to understand that well, given that so many are juniors and differentiate between generations with subtle name changes. Shake hands, and say “actually it’s (name).” Unfortunately people only retain this information about 50% of the time, but it’s worth trying. My friend and I were talking and realized that really the only people that call us by our full names are women. By the way, it’s Jenny, not Jen! That makes sense — and, in a way, explains everything! So many helpful ideas here. I have the same problem and it drives me crazy. If you are unsure of what to call someone, it's best to use a formal address or simply ask one of these questions: 1. With the second group, I say that French name is my name, I understand that it is different in pronounciation, and you will eventually get it. Most of the time people just don’t know to request this. . I generally object to all of the beating-around-the-bush and “cute and clever” social etiquette advice as if we constantly need to be on guard for someone else’s feelings lest we offend them, even if it is something as straight forward as communicating your own name. I actually think this is the best way to handle it. But really it doesn’t happen all that often…it is just extremely irritating when it does happen. I tend to just blow the relatives off as I suspect I’m not going to change the minds of my mostly elderly extended family – we are generally an extremely stubborn lot. I’m proud of my Italian heritage but it’s not worth the headaches, especially once I’ve graduated and enter the legal world. Yahoo is part of Verizon Media. Or, another version is the Loud Last Name, where a friend or family member shouts the LAST name of the character when they are clearly on first-name terms.This trope may be the practical origin of I Know Your True Name; calling someone by their full name indicates intimate knowledge of that person, which can be used to exert power over them. I also really dislike being called Katherine, which being more common (especially in my age range) happens a lot. I also get people thinking I have a double first name (like Mary Ann). Responding to the post about nicknames, I have no problem with Jenny, Katie, Becky, etc., but I have a hard time referring to an older attorney, co-counsel that I’ve never met before, by a nickname such as Mo (for Maureen). The longer you let it go, the more awkward it becomes. My first name is Janet. I have a name that people seem to like to shorten. Funny that you say that– as soon as I’m done with my master’s thesis, the MS will definitely be at the end of my name! The Straightforward. Yeah, thanks, we’ve heard all the jokes, both for Jim Brown the football player and James Brown the singer. I’m a CaroLINE, and I get “Carolyn” all. I guess I could feel bad for the awkwardness it creates, but no one has ever done it twice. The way someone calls your name could indicate how well they know you. Don’t know if that would help you, but it has helped her through the years! I’ve found that telling people upfront that I prefer not to go by that nickname and that it’s a “family” nickname usually stops it up front. I usually just respond back with my 1st name. Have you found that your skills are a better fit with certain types of organizations? Please don’t cringe for me, I assure you it’s unnecessary! She got my name right soon after, and still does. This is really starting to drive me up the wall. You don’t need to put yourself on unequal footing. Let’s say it was Barbara Lee- I do not want to be called Barbie, or Barbie Lee, so I’ve been called CJ since the first grade. I'm pretty sure you can use this comeback for any name someone calls you. It really depends on how often I’m in contact with the person. I don’t think it’s a big deal to be informally referred to as Mrs. Whatever, especially if the person is a friend/relative of your husband and not you, but it’s infuriating to have them disregard your correct title but give him his. So correct them. It’s crazy….they do not even sound similar! One time in Istanbul, a bus station clerk once wrote “Mertem” on my ticket. for Anna Jane or Mike for Michelle, but I think Peg or Anita or Shelley would be fine. which puts the blame back on me, thus saving face for them. Most of my friends call me Jen and I sign emails as Jen with only 1 “n” to them, but some of them still type my nickname as Jenn with 2 “n”s. Instantly! My first name is traditionally male when it’s used as a first name at all, and is more common as a last name. You should see when he goes through Customs and Immigration. Even telemarketers. Not as easy to correct as “Sarah with an H” or “Kathryn with a Y.”, Fellow C-a-i-t-l-i-n Caitlin here! At my former firm, which had a grand total of, like, 12 attorneys (partners and associates), nobody EVER got it right. I am the rare person who is very opposed to a woman taking her husband’s last name, a tradition rooted in appalling sexism. Even when it’s a longstanding error, I prefer to say something along the lines of “just Julie, actually” rather than try to be clever about it. j/k but seriously, it’s disrespectful. “Jesse” is a guy’s name and I am most certainly not a guy. Punch him in the gut Rosa Diaz style next time and insist he tell you why he uses your full name … Do one of the following: To answer the . People are idiots. So if you’re Hélène, you could spell it Aylen or something (ok – bad example, but you get the point). I actually took on a task during a recent acquisition of gathering the nicknames from the new staff and submitted it to the email area. Easily add text to images or memes. My name is Veronica and people often seem to think it’s too long to bother saying and always ask what my nickname is or what I usually get called (which is Veronica). For example, do you mean a Katherine who goes by Kate, or a Katherine middle initial J who goes by KJ, or something different altogether? Haha. Whatever your name is!”), and I don’t think I can gracefully correct them now. Everyone has always called me Dasha my entire life and I got tired of explaining it, so I just legally changed it to Dasha. (I guess my dad who named me thought he was being cute. I really don’t know what it is, because even when I correct people, they have responded with “oh…well…you look like a Rebecca.”. I mean, there’s no “L” sound in Marissa!) A polite greeting used to show enthusiasm. I generally go with the direct approach (“it’s just Jenny”), which has led friends to call me “Just Jenny” at times bc it happens so often. There’s no issue of formality in English because most Americans don’t know that its technically a nickname. It’s “Jessie”, not “Jesse”. Funnily enough, the next email came addressed to “Anne.” I suppose it WAS rather passive aggressive of me, but it worked. ), and in the dealership’s records. You also wouldn't call a judge by his/her first name, you'd say Your Honor while they are presiding. There are two spellings of my name, and mine is the much less common. When I married, I told my husband that the only way I would change my name was if we both changed our name to a different, chosen name. I’ve had the same problem… after I went through an entire swim class as a child letting the instructor call me something else entirely, my mother gave me the valuable advice that unless you correct people the first time, it gets harder to do it later – and when you do, they’re going to wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. I’m interested in hearing the replies/advice to this one. My name has a lot of significance. Rather than double hypenate or create a strange situation for future children, the just “combined” their names into one. Good thing ‘Fanny’ has gone out of style. Carolina, also, oddly enough. I have no tips in response to the inquiry because I usually don’t correct much of anything these days. When someone, especially your parents, calls you by your first middle & last name you know your … It matters. I just had this happen yesterday, as a matter of fact. My name is Steven but almost everyone calls me Steve. Susie is fine. I can understand why it’s frustrating when the longer version isn’t your name, but I think that people are *trying* be respectful by not using what they assume is your nickname until you’ve established enough of a relationship to warrant that intimacy. I changed my name on the firm stationery etc to read “Katie” because otherwise I got “Kathy” and “Kate” as well as “Katherine” all the time. . Though the word wasn't supposed to get air time, it was no random coincidence. I do something similar, too. Whoever you are being introduced to is (probably) paying attention fairly precisely to your name at that point and you are doing them a favor to help them get it right. I have the same issue, except mine goes the other way — the common spelling of my name has an extra letter than the way my name is actually spelled. How Are Your Work-Life Boundaries Going Right Now? A polite greeting used to show enthusiasm. To dream that some voices call out your name is an alert to improve your business monitoring, otherwise you will experience setbacks. Being called the wrong name at work can be embarrassing, frustrating, and — eventually — infuriating. You Know Your In Trouble When Someone Calls You By Your Full Name. Great thread! The next time your mom calls you by your brother's name (or even your dog's name), don't be offended — she's probably not doing it because she thinks you look like him, a … Although, more amusing, I did have an instance a few years ago when applying for jobs, when a potential employer very obviously was expecting a man to come in (my name, while a only slightly unusualy woman’s name in the U.S. – think dated, not weird), can also be a man’s name in Russia/Poland…, I actually don’t prefer nicknames in a professional setting based on technology limitations. The correct Russian pronunciation is Dar’ – ya. Correcting your mother in law’s use of your name after many, many years is no picnic. Not at preschool, not at the pediatrician’s office, not even with most utilities. Of course some people still call me English name or want to come up with a nickname–“oh French name is hard to pronounce, can I call you random nickname?” With the first group, I correct them until they get it, or depending on the relationship (elderly judges, barista, etc.) Unfortunately, no amount of correction will make a bit of difference if the person speaking or writing to you doesn’t care enough to pay attention and adjust accordingly. I’m not sure the technical aspects of this, but here’s what I’m talking about: You know how when you start to type an email, and it automatically fills in, and it says something like “[email protected][Diane Smith]” ? I’ve taken to introducing him and immediately spelling his name for whoever I am introducing him. Seriously though, I don’t understand why it is so difficult for some people to comprehend that my last name is not the same as my husband’s. I also, weirdly, sometimes get called Deb or Deborah. I’m an Emily. My full name is also Jenny, not Jennifer. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. I’m also a “Rachael” and I occasionally get Rebecca, but more often get “Rachelle”, I suppose on account of people not knowing what to do with the extra “a”. Seriously. Still, people call me Barb all the time. I work with a Daria, and although I met her through her Russian friends, who all call her “Dasha,” so I follow suit, I would like to be able to attempt to pronounce her first name. Those sample people were condescending and asked her to get coffee. I certainly understand preferences, but in many countries & cultures people with any given name (e.g., Alexandra) will be addressed by many different nicknames (e.g., Alex, Lexie, Sandy, etc.). [QUOTE="PlaWeird"] I think it's okay for someone like your boss to call you by your surname, but with the Mr./Ms./Mrs. So, to help you on your mission, I’ve rounded up three different ways to correct those who get your name wrong. Since it was one of those firms where the paralegals really ran the place, I followed this advice. But Emily was just too much for him. I’m a Barbara. The only guff I seem to get (weirdly) is from small business owners. I used to resent it but now I just pretend people are calling me a pet name/nickname, instead of just misreading my name. I am a “z” Elizabeth who goes by all 4 syllables. One of the partners at my firm calls me by one of the nicknames, and it happens to be one that I particularly dislike. Punch him in the gut Rosa Diaz style next time and insist he tell you why he uses your full name like a weirdo. Feb 15, 2019 - That's fantastic. I kind of like this method. His name was already hypenated, and she wasn’t keen on giving up her name entirely. He immediately began promoting me to other partners as “Kathy” — which made me cringe every time, and required correction. Every time a friend gets engaged/married/has a baby, they ask me how to spell his name for the invitation. When introducing yourself, you become confused with what to say Do You Think Its Rude? I wish I didn’t feel so passionately about this. Unfortunately, I think the Reader needs to learn to let it go because it’s never going to stop happening…. When a guy stares at you, he's into you . Please ping me if you are interested in working through the … (I’m happy to say I’ve moved on from that firm. I’m a Jennifer and everyone always hears Jessica. Sometimes just in conversation the wrong nickname slips out. But I go by the full name. I wonder if it’s a gender thing: people are always shortening women’s names, but lengthening men’s? I am one who loathes having my name shortened to ‘Stephie’ but you’d be surprised how often that happens. I’d want to know if I was calling someone the wrong name, so I could start calling them by the right name. Show more answers (6) Still have questions? When I’m speaking or working in Spanish I actually use a different spelling of my name so that it gets pronounced right. As an “Ariella” who’s often called “Aureola,” “Maryellen,” “Aurelia,” and “Ariel,” I feel your pain. Hello ladie”s”! Such as, “Hi, HR person.” “Hi, Diane!” “Oh, ha, my mother would have a heart attack if she heard that — she fought tooth and nail against every grade school teacher who tried to call me that, which is why I staunchly insist on ‘Diana’ today. Oh dear…Aureola? . Ha, my (romantic) partner has the opposite problem. Full Screen View, for a large view of the videos or photos. It was never clear to me.) or Antonio/Luca/etc.). I think a more interesting dilemna comes up with “difficult” or unusual last names. Needless to say, that could get confusing if people didn’t get it right.
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